That lasted for a couple of years. But the self-centered, work-obsessed barrier I built around myself began to crack sometime last year. It didn’t happen suddenly, and I lied to myself by ignoring it for months, but something was changing. I completely poured myself into my job to the point where I was enjoying neither the work nor the reward anymore. I began to feel burned out and often not good enough for the website I had so passionately built over the course of eight years. A constant feeling of unease and dissatisfaction percolated through other aspects of my life as well. I pretended to be relaxed and have fun in social situations and important life events; in reality, there was a persistent sense of anxiety always there, sitting in the back of my mind where the fear of cancer also was, telling me that I wasn’t good enough or hadn’t done enough. That it was only a matter of days until someone figured out that I sucked and everything I had built was easily replaceable – a trivial, forgettable commodity.
…at some point, I can’t say exactly when, true empathy towards other people began eluding me. Instead of compassionately trying to understand why other people in my life acted the way they did, my default setting became assuming that everyone was fundamentally driven by a desire to screw me over.
The role of Apple Watch Series 3 and your own motivations:
At the same time though, I’m aware that the Apple Watch is just a conduit. This is where I failed to understand it as a fitness device for years. If you’re lazy and lack the determination to exercise and get back in shape, the Apple Watch isn’t going to fix that for you. It can encourage you initially, but you have to put in the real work after that. I miserably failed at this in the past, but I’m starting to understand this year: you have to get to the point where you viscerally want to exercise – with no excuses – if you really want to improve.
There’s plenty more to read and it’s a nice change from the “tech first” articles that routinely come out of Apple fans.
But it’s important for me to share this – to go on the record by admitting my failures and outlining my renewed commitment – because I feel a responsibility to be a better person, partner, friend, and writer by cherishing my second chance and making the most of it.
In the same way that an app review might inspire you to buy a new app for your iPhone, this article might inspire you to make a healthy change in your life.