Via DaringFireball, this is how you write a review of something as simple as ring tones on a mobile phone:

  1. By The Seaside
     You are Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Except in this version of Cocktail, the film starts right when you arrive in Jamaica and ends right before you stupidly flex your man-pride and show off for that older woman at the tiki bar, you know, just to prove you could get her? With that improbable match trick? Leaving poor Elisabeth Shue pregnant and betrayed? That part never happens. You don’t even think about that part. Instead, you perpetually live in the waterfall where your passions grow. You no longer require food nor drink to survive. Love and a crooked smile are the only forms of sustenance you need. The soundtrack is updated. The swimsuits are not.

Best iOS 7 Ringtones for iPhone