A warning to parents everywhere about the dangers and influence of so-called toys and their subtle influence on your children.

Their hero, or their guru, who is a rat named Splinter. You heard it here first: a rat named Splinter is the hero of this cartoon.

Wait. What? A rat is the hero? AND you're telling me this rat's name is Splinter?

...and I'm going to get rid of that Michael Jackson chocolate bar before somebody picks it up for their kids.

Sure you are. You ate it buddy and we all know it.

Fear. Be very afraid. Don't think critically about things yourself. Listen to the bearded men reveal all.