The pitch:

Once upon a time I had a first-world problem, luckily I had a first-world product that increases my dependancy on technology, removes my need to consult other humans and deepens my handicap of extreme-laziness. My friends were thoroughly impressed.

Via here via here via here.

Whew.  That's a lot of via's.  This would be a lot easier on Tumblr.

The Gist of Every iPhone Commercial