The Contractor's Dilemma: Coping When Clients Disappear

This post is a gentle reminder to anyone who works with contractors in the digital sense (i.e. developers, writers, editors, production, etc.)—that if you decide you no longer want to work with them on your project, do them the courtesy of telling them "Hey, it's not working out for [reasons]" rather than them having to find out by seeing a new version (episode, video, etc.) of the thing they thought they were working on.

This Has Never Happened To Me Before

Up until this year, it had never happened to me in my business life. I've had a client where it was obvious we weren't a good fit for each other and parted ways, but it came with a very obvious conversation about how it wasn't going to work for whatever reason.

But this year I've had two different clients who I'd worked with for years who just stopped communicating. One completely ghosted me and didn't respond to emails. And while I certainly miss getting the opportunity to work on the projects, as well as the revenue it brought in for my livelihood, it's stung way more not having any idea why I wasn't a fit suddenly when as far as I was aware things were going along fine.

Both times have felt like a gut punch to my ego, and when I come across the projects randomly online it triggers a bit of a depression spiral that I have to work really hard to pull myself out of.

Well Just Ask Them Then?

The easy response you might have to reading this is that I should just contact them and find out what happened. It's likely something to do with pricing, or a misunderstanding in communication, or they just came up with a different way to get the thing done that worked better for them and didn't need to involve me.

All fair reasons, for sure.

Most people don't enjoy being rejected. But as someone who struggles with feeling forgettable and easily replaced in general, I find it especially difficult to want to reach out and find out why. I try to balance that with being genuinely curious and wanting to learn, grow, and do better. But I don't always get that balance right because brains are dumb sometimes.

Let Them Know

So the next time you have a project involving a contractor of some sort that you feel like isn't working, just be sure to let them know that. Maybe there's opportunity for changing workflows, pricing, communication styles, etc. Or maybe it's not a good fit for either of you and the contractor will actually be happy to move on as well and find a more appropriate client to work with.

Either way, lead with kindness, love, and maturity when working with your fellow humans.

Let's work together to create a more transparent and respectful freelancing environment. You can start by having an open conversation about communication expectations. And if you're struggling with a similar situation, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm happy to try to support each other in navigating these challenging professional and very personal experiences.