Using a specific ratio of asian people to black people to women to white men, we want to make sure we represent your needs and interests or at least a version of your skin colour in our ads.
I’d quote the whole thing but I’m laughing too hard:
While we do not have a traditional “philosophy” of “childbirth,” we have been heavily influenced by orthodox Wholefoodism and the “(d)well baby/good design” movement. We believe strongly in the power of the female body and a long-term night nurse. We are opposed to torture/gluten. In the event you are ever unsure how to proceed today, please ask yourself, “What Would Gwyneth Do?”
Please don’t put the baby on a scale, as we don’t want her to have the same body image issues as her fat mom.
We will not be vaccinating our baby. Please vaccinate all other babies on this floor.
Alec Baldwin and Jerry Sienfeld have a great conversation ranging from the TV show, Jackie Mason, Mad Men and Manhattan.
And for a bonus, Alec Baldwin drops a Saskatchewan reference:
When you lived where we lived, that was Saskatchewan.